my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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