And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
