Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize