My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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