I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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