dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
