I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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