Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
