There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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