Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
