O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
