you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
