he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
