its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
