Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
