He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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