So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
