And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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