Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
