Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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