Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and she was petting her beer can
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
did i walk over a car last night?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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