You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
