so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
