she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
