Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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