Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize