I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
