where does the pee come out of this thing
His hands were made for my vagina.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
