what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
this is an emotional support booty call
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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