How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
