i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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