Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
