I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
