I need to stop coming to work sober
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
