called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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