'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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