I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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