she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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