omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
