Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
