in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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