"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
