Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
