So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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