At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I smell stomach acid.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
