God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize