I feel great
I just peed on a car
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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