So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
