is wine microwaveable?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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