I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
