what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
