Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
