I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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