the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
